Too crazy? Poppycock!

I have been reading my previous post a lot. It more or less complains a lot about how strangers interact with me and my girl. I still like it, but it kind of makes me sound nuts.

As if I need anything else to make me feel peculiar!

It's not so bad this time because I did the crazy myself. It's like I pinched myself, but it didn't hurt like it would if someone else had pinched me. I really feel the need to get some things off my chest, especially things that have been stewing for a while. Maybe I overreact sometimes. Well, I know for sure I can overreact. Who doesn't from time to time? I love it when people place themselves outside of their comfort zone. You learn something about yourself and that person when it happens, and it can be really interesting.

I am not used to publicizing my crazy, though. I have plenty of crazy shit to write about. I don't feel it's necessary to constantly spew every thought from my brain onto the computer. Writing, by itself, is a nice outlet for me. However, the more I do it the more weird I become. Pretty soon, if I keep it up, I expect to start keeping a journal on a roll of toilet paper dedicated to the daily activities of my many gnomes, which will be written by Christmas light with a spaghetti noodle pen using ground up Cocoa Puffs for ink. Yikes.

How do I keep myself from falling into this weird, food infused madness?! The answer might make me sound even more crazy: I talk to myself. All the time. I talk to PP, but she can't talk back. When she's sleeping I talk to myself. When I am out and about with PP, I talk to her about everything I am doing. I go a little crazy when I go places by myself because I feel extra silly talking to myself, but I still end up doing it anyways. In an unexpected way, my constant narration is therapeutic. Sometimes you need to say things out loud because it helps you put stuff into perspective. If you say something aloud just one time you may not ever need to say it again which is usually a good thing.

I don't completely blame myself for this level of crazy, I hold PP's teachers partly responsible. A very important thing that has been drilled into my head by the school system is to verbalize everything you do. The more you talk, the more you expose your child to language and it helps them learn language. Also, imagine if you were quiet all day just because you didn't have anyone to talk to? I don't like talking on the phone either, so it's talk to PP or next to nobody. I have a feeling that I would be in a straight jacket shrieking the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants if I didn't do it.

I also sing all the darn time!

As awkward as it was to verbalize every action in the beginning, it is now just a habit. I don't even realize I am doing it. I sing about walking while we walk down the sidewalk. I talk about almost everything we walk by on our daily escapade. If I am not talking about whatever we are doing, I am telling PP how amazing and wonderful and beautiful she is. Maybe this is another reason why strangers in public treat me and PP differently! Hmm...

I will keep doing it tho. PP likes it. She loves to sing and have conversations with me. Her side of the conversation is mostly screaming or weird throat noises, but it's a start. Anything I can do to help her, even if I make myself look crazy, I will do in a heartbeat. You only get to raise a child once, so you'd better make it as awesome as possible.

I might even write a crazy blog post. Hah! But, ya know, if you were me you'd be a bit wacky too.

Porch lights and summer nights
XoX