Water Balloon

I swear if PP doesn't have Epilepsy I'm going to kick someone...then kiss them.

Ever since the Doc McLellan put the bug in my ear about Gelastic Seizures I've been an obsessive and moody Momma. Can you blame me? I have been Googling the SHIT out of Gelastic Seizures trying desperately to get a better understanding of it and all I can say is that this condition is rare and the YouTube videos make me feel...weird. Weaver Syndrome is rare enough on it's own, but chronic giggle seizures?! SERIOUSLY?!

It's hilariously infuriating.

It can become a bigger issue and is not curable or very responsive to treatment, but it explains a long list of noodle scratchers that I shrug off on a daily basis. Epilepsy initially seems like a long shot for a diagnosis, but it can cause behavior problems, memory loss, and developmental delay in all areas. PP recently took a step backwards in the area of speech development and she has angry/laughing outbursts that can come from nowhere. However, she is making her way back developmentally to where she was about a month ago and I've been trying to reduce daily stressors that can trigger a seizure. Still, I feel like a drunk with a barrel of apple juice. Pissed off and ready to throw things. Motherhood is making me crazy!

I forgot to mention in my last post that I was advised to film PP having a 'seizure' to make the diagnostic process go smoother. How nice. Neither myself nor anyone I know has heard of Gelatsic Epilepsy. Explain to me once more how I am supposed to discern a laughing seizure from just laughing at a hysterical Momma Lace? The only conclusion I can come to is to constantly film PP doing her thing. Sadly, my phone only holds about 10 minutes of video because I have massive amounts of useless crap and really cute pictures on my phone. Do I really have to re-organize my phone and, consequently, my entire life? Hmm. Hello anxiety, be nice to me. I'm getting old.

There are moments in the day when I feel like I'm caught in a water balloon fight. Most of the time I'm nice and dry, keeping the brave face on that everyone likes to look at. I do like brave face the best. Then PP's beautiful hazel eyes will look at me and literally knock the wind out of me. It's not fair to be so easily caught off guard. She is such an amazing girl and it just tears me up that I can't take away her owies. Did you ever throw water balloons at passing cars when you were a kid? I did. That biz was fun. These days, instead of laughing and chucking balloons without consequence, I'm bombarded by waves of rainbow balloons filled with PP beauty and awesomeness, soaked with a million thoughts leaving me insta-pissed. PP is none the wiser. She only sees lovey goofy Momma face.

The appointment for Neurology is tentatively scheduled in December.

XoX