I've got bats in my belly.

PP is a rockstar. She makes Mama proud every day! She is doing so well in school, playing and sharing with classmates and forming sweet relationships with her teachers. I couldn't dream of a more amazing daughter.

A 'big day' for PP can mean many different things, but tomorrow is a whole different kind of 'big day'.

I'm not usually one to be frightened of a 'big day', but I suppose my time has come.

At 6:30AM, PP will be put under general anesthesia for her second MRI scan. She had one when she was a month old, which showed nothing out of the ordinary. This MRI is a big deal because we have something to look for, which is a brain tumor. The technical term for this particular tumor is a Hypothalamic Hamartoma.

This type of tumor causes gelastic seizures. Although the neurologist isn't convinced that she has this type of Epilepsy, I told him that I will not take the chance of overlooking any information that may be helpful in figuring out PP just because it doesn't fit perfectly.

I haven't been very vocal about this procedure. I have not mentioned it to family or friends because it is very difficult for me to talk about. I know I would start to cry if I talked about it with anyone besides Papa Chris, and I don't want anyone to worry about our sweet little family. I've become accustomed to keeping a stone face in the light of terror, sometimes even smiling, because I know that everything will be OK. Thankfully, I am not the first person to go through this process and all of the stories I've read say that when this tumor is discovered it is completely curable. However, I've only read the good stories so as not to scare myself.

Read Jadyn's story.

So, this type of tumor is curable, what is there to worry about? For one, I am Mama Lace so there is always something to worry about when it comes to my baby. Two, it's a possibility of a brain tumor. Albeit a benign tumor, the stress comes from the fact that tumors and cancer can go hand in hand. Cancer runs on both sides of our family, including terminal brain cancer. Weaver syndrome by itself can cause cancers and tumors simply because it is an overgrowth syndrome; cells have more room to grow out of control and wreak havoc. I worry that we are on a slippery slope to more doctors visits and aggressive treatment methods. Thirdsies, I hate anesthesia and the thought of someone potentially sticking something into PP's brain to remove a growth is...well... do I really need to put it into words?

With that said, I feel obligated to reinforce the notion that PP is a fighter. With the recent passing of her third birthday I did a lot of reminiscing. Since the day PP was born she's had to fight for everything. She battled the odds against her and has come a long, long way. The doctors who take care of PP fight the battle alongside her. Mama and Papa are the horses to her chariot, always ready to meet the scary stuff face to face. I know that she will be alright.

Just to be on the safe side, please send us as much positive energy as you can conjure.

Keep calm and be fierce
XoX

This is a (cover) tune I could never grow tired of, listen and ask yourself "WHERE IS MY MIND?!"